I'm posting about this now because we are at the end of day 3, not because we have it mastered. Boy oh boy - it has gone SO much worse, but also better than expected. I've always heard potty training is hard but it's just like marriage or being a parent - you never REALLY know what the heck that means till you're right in the thick of it.
We've had a little toilet for him for a couple of months actually. We've talked about it and going to the bathroom on it for a long time too - more heavily this last week. He seemed interested in the pot and kind of like maybe he was getting what we were talking about. He was actually very willing and excited to throw his diapers away and check out all his new underpants. He wore them proudly! (But not holding still)
I won't share every single detail but it might be more detailed than anyone but me cares to know/remember. The morning was awful. Literally it was so terrible. He was in tears most of it and I joined in more than I would have liked. I would catch him peeing and we'd rush to the bathroom and he'd scream when I set him on the toilet. Wanted nothing to do with it. So there were a good several carpet accidents. Once while I was still in the bathroom and he wouldn't sit to finish, I told him to go get some new dry undies and I heard him start crying. He had finished peeing all over the floor in front of his dresser and onto one of his favorite books. Yuck. Well, I was still doing ok for the most part. We quickly went through undie changes.
As the day went on he became more and more distressed about it. He screamed when he peed because it seemed like he was scared or felt like he was doing something terribly wrong. Oh man he would cry. He peed twice in his high chair trying to get through lunch. I felt so bad and was trying to keep it positive and praise him and we were doing stickers, etc. but it just wasn't clicking. Then he started to recognize when he had to pee (which was progress and I was impressed) but when he felt that sensation he would LOSE IT. So I'd take him to the toilet and set him down screaming and more would come out because he couldn't hold it and he would SCREAM when he felt it going in the toilet. So he'd hop off. Only to scream more because he still had to go. Horrible. I was losing it then too. Not really out of frustration but I felt SO bad. It was all supposed to be happy and positive and not forced and I felt like I was traumatizing him. I was NOT expecting him to act or react like that AT ALL! I didn't know what to do and was having all sorts of doubts in both our abilities. I knew he was really tired too so we tried to do a nap but it wasn't going so well. In and out of crib. Finally he fell asleep looking at a book.
I texted my friend, Andrea, who had sent me the ebook and is one of the most amazing moms I know...and she talked me off the ledge. Told me to hang in there till at least the next afternoon. Got some more, much needed support, from my friend Brooke. She's great at letting me complain as much as necessary about anything! There was plenty of that that day. I tried to lay him down so he could sleep and I could wash laundry and shower and clean my filthy house. Nope. Woke up like 5 minutes later. Ugh.
Buuuutttt....a miracle happened that afternoon. He didn't scream when I'd set him down. He'd give me the look when he started peeing and somehow he was able to stop it. We would then rush to the bathroom and he would finish in the pot. My excitement and cheers seemed to motivate him. He would hold his hands up like a conqueror and put up his blue Mickey sticker with pride. This picture was about this time but he looks much less happy than he was (at the time) and a LOT happier than he was that morning. His face makes me laugh.
So ya. Lots more progress that day. No poop and lots of little wets in the undies but no carpet accidents. AND he was dry all night!! That was a miracle to me because he's never been dry at night!! The next morning/day was more of the same. The first couple pees were a bit of a backtrack to the previous morning of crying when he sat and felt himself pee. But luckily he quickly got over that.
Man his bum in undies is too cute.
One messy poop in the undies that morning. He did NOT like seeing that dumped underneath him. That gave me a bit of anxiety about our poop future.
That afternoon we babysat a friend's little guy who is almost his age. I took a lot of pics cause I do that, and also I love it when people that watch Harv send me pics so I wanted to share with his mama.
This day in general was SO much better! Harvey was a complete gem. And he played AWESOME with Jared. He's usually not that friendly or sharing or caring with other kids, esp his age, but he was so good. He randomly walked over and gave him a hug at one point and then they giggled and wrestled on the couch. Guess we need more play dates with him!
I had one of my proudest mom moments to date that evening. We were playing in the middle toy room and he looked at me and said poop. And he started walking to the bathroom. I helped him with his undies and he sat down and pushed out a poop. No mess in his pants. No crying. I could have cried with pure joy though!! It was so amazing. He seemed pretty proud too. (Oh ya - one other amazing part about this day was that both boys slept at the same time for a couple hrs and I had a glorious and much needed nap too and Harvey was dry!!)
Our night was tricky last night. I couldn't get him to pee one more time before bed and he always cries when he gets put down for at least a little bit. Well, I was worried because I didn't know how to tell if his crying was from normal bedtime protests or needing to pee. Well, I did go check on him soon after and he had peed in bed. So then it was out and changing him and sheets and more awake. Took me forever to get him back down, still with much anxiety over if I was letting him pee himself again...or worse. But he finally fell asleep and woke up dry again! And peed first thing in the morning. Beautiful.
So today again, some more of the same. Weird huh? Mostly he tells me when he needs to pee (or like looks at me with that look) AFTER he has already gone a tiny bit, but he always finishes great in the pot and we actually had a couple where he went without getting wet first. We took him to the store for a little over an hour and he did great. He does seem to have good bladder control but we just need to get him to tell me before he has to go! I think sometimes he doesn't want to interrupt the playing. I actually had a lot of issues with that for a long time as a kid. Kneeling to hold it so I wouldn't have to go to the bathroom. That's another story, though ;)
We both had a good nap and we both stayed dry :) No poop today. He toots and thinks he needs to poop so we tried a couple times and he'd push and look at me and shake his head like "nope, guess not". So funny. He peed once before bed when I just had him try. He cried for a long time again tonight in his bed and it still gave me anxiety. He has woken up right around 6am today and yesterday and I've hopped right out of bed in fears of him needing to go and me not being there. So his sleep routine is getting messed up with this but hopefully that will settle soon. I have a couple more days off where we'll get to make more progress I hope, especially cause after that he goes to babysitter and I will feel bad having to make her have to take a larger part in potty training another kid! But, like I said, so much harder than I was expecting - especially at first- emotionally and physically exhausting. The being on the floor constantly with him and the up and down with my huge preggo self has been rough. But then he has really pleasantly surprised me with how quick he has caught on and all the great that he has done. This is the toy he picked out for getting all those stickers on his Mickey chart. Shocking that it's a garbage truck, right?