The Covid

I've been thinking the last couple of days or so that I should make a post about this - mostly just a journal entry about what's going on and my take on it, I guess. Something that might be interesting for my kids or grandkids to read someday. This will definitely make history books but I want to record my impression and experiences with it all. There's so much in my mind. So much to talk about. So many opinions and articles already written about it. I'm not a good writer and this will all just have to come out as best it can :)

I remember in January a doctor I work with, Dr. Grow, mentioning something about Coronavirus in China. I started looking at the articles and remember him mentioning how bad it was going to be. I was interested in it in China and it seemed bad and I felt bad for them but didn't think much more than that. He was saying how it was going to be everywhere and my trip to the Philippines that I got picked to go on for a medical mission would probably not happen. He even was saying that his daughter's mission call to Portugal in June would probably be affected. I thought that was crazy. I thought it will have all blown over by March (when the Philippines was supposed to be) and certainly by his daughters mission. Eek. Nope. Now it has been fascinating and scary and crazy and unreal to watch this dot the entire globe.

The Philippines got cancelled a few weeks before we were supposed to go as things started spreading in Asia. Japan was big and then it hit hard in Italy. People were worried about needing to be quarantined after coming back and thinking we couldn't afford being told we couldn't work for two weeks after we had already been gone for a week. I think it came as a relief to Tanner. I was pretty disappointed. But the disappointments for the world just kept on coming.

It hit Seatle first in the US. Then it spread to California. There were a lot of people that had gotten sick on cruise ships and several that were just docked off the coast for weeks with people stuck there. Awful. Lots of people being stranded as borders started closing and people trying to restrict travel and contain the spread. I've been watching things pretty closely and reading LOTS of articles...but this isn't going to be perfectly accurate. I remember when we got our first case here in Utah about 3 weeks ago (I'm writing this March 29th). It was in Davis county. I think that's when things started getting a little crazy here. People all over the world were panic buying toilet paper and bottled water. It was INSANE. And Utah was the worst in the nation for all the panic buying. After it hit here...and especially after Rudy Gobert and Donivan Mitchell tested positive, it really exploded. Grocery stores had lines for 2 hrs to be grabbing everything. You could NOT find flour. Still hardly can. Couldn't get toilet paper. Costco had lines forever outside because they started limiting the amount of people that could be in the store at one time. Thursday March 12th was the first day it felt nuts in the ED. So many people coming in wanting to get checked and having this really obscure "exposure" potentials. It felt insane. No one really knew what the policies and procedures were for testing and who and how to test and where to send it and all this other stuff. The mood was high stress for sure. That was the last day I worked before my week off when I was going to be out of the country.

So the next week was a lot of at home and getting multiple emails a day about what the hospitals (and EVERY OTHER BUSINESS in the world) is doing to handle coronavirus. It started out kind of slow....people saying they are taking extra precautions about cleaning and stuff. And then one school district closed because there was a positive test and then one thing then another was closing and shutting down. We had talked about going to St. George that week. We were going to go before the Philippines and when that got cancelled I thought well at least we have St. George. Steff was going to come down for a few days and then Brooke and Jake. I was so excited. But then the weather looked crappy and then Tanner sold his truck (this is turning out to NOT be a great time to be looking for a new job). Etc. etc. And then all the stress of all of it made us wonder if we could even get we needed in St. George. And then the spartan that Jake was going to do down south got cancelled as more and more advice came to limit gatherings to less than 100, then less than 50 then less than 10 and now we are at "social distancing". Staying 6 feet away from people. Not really going out to do anything non essential. No play dates. They say not even to be spending time with people in extended family unless it's "essential".

Also during that week I was off...I think it was Wednesday (the 18th) that we all woke up to an EARTHQUAKE!! 5.7. Are you kidding!? It was CRAZY! Tanner had gone to work at the golf course (I didn't hear him leave) and I knew it was supposed to be kind of rainy that day. So I remember hearing something that woke me up and thinking it was a storm. And then I noticed that the house was SWAYING. I was in half dream land but when that thought came to me, I sat up in bed SO fast and was thinking "WIND DOESN'T MAKE THE HOUSE SWAY!" I heard the fan/light hanger things hitting against the lights and then it was over. My mom called immediately to see how we were. They were really close to the epicenter and they had lots of things fall off shelves and break and pictures go sideways, etc etc. We didn't have anything like that. Magna had some buildings get pretty damaged. Some of the ceiling panels at my dad's work came down. A water line broke at the airport. It was such a weird and actually kind of cool thing to feel - I wish I had been more awake for the whole thing! When Harvey finally got up a couple hours later I told him we had an earthquake. He was just like oh, ya...I felt my bed shake...I thought it was a gun...and then he just went back to sleep! Crazy kid.

The panic buying intensified! Gas stations ran out of gas. You can't get any sort of emergency preparedness stuff ANYWHERE. We have stuff for a month or so but we CERTAINLY aren't as prepared as we need to be with food storage and 72 hour kits, etc. If this ever slows down that is going to need to be #1 priority. Although things are a little extra stressful with Tanner's job and not knowing how we are going to make it with him not having a job. So far it's been okay because he's still getting paid some because there are a few trucks left. Hopefully those don't get sold anytime soon. And I've been able to pick up a couple extra shifts here and there and might be able to more since one of the older docs is wanting his shifts covered for a little bit to keep him less exposed and vulnerable.

So 2 weeks ago the governor announced that all schools were closing and everyone went to online/homeschooling. That's basically how it is across the whole united states and much of the world now. We were supposed to go back next week, after spring break, but recently they announced it staying closed until May 2 or something. No one will be surprised if we don't got back at all this year. National Parks are closed. Everything is soooo crazy. It's stressful for a lot of reasons but I get really anxious about the HUGE economic toll this is taking on the WHOLE WORLD! I remember right after Rudy and Donivan got it they cancelled the NBA for the rest of the season. That seemed insane. And I thought...well who cares about the millionaire players...but then just thought about all the little people that make it run and how that is their livelihood and what do they do now. Just all these little components and pieces that keep the economy functioning and healthy - as a whole - but again - just thinking about so many businesses that are closing and have no customers. Restaurants and small businesses that are taking a huge hit. That affects us all but personally - it's so scary for them. All sports now are cancelled. Harvey isn't doing soccer. Greta's dance is cancelled and we are trying to do some stuff from home but I'm sure the performance will be cancelled too and who knows if it will be rescheduled.

Trump just signed a bail out bill that is supposed to help small businesses and give back to all families to help keep the economy afloat a bit. I think we are going to get hosed because we made too much so that means we don't get any support. Which sucks because even though last year we did - Tanner not working means it would be so helpful to us. Oh well. Guess there's just so much out of our control.

And the church! Holy moly are things different now. They cancelled church early on. Actually I think they announced that conference was going to be different - not have people travel to it. Then it was completely cancelled for anyone to go and it was all going to be broadcast. That's just another piece of an economy hit for Salt Lake. But then they cancelled church. So it's pretty cool to think of how we've really pushed the home study and worship thing lately because that's all we are doing now. There's been a cascade of changes with missionaries too. Feels like there's been something new and different about it every day for the last couple of weeks. Most missionaries are coming home now. Supposedly to be reassigned if you haven't been out long enough and many missions cut short indefinitely. Although I don't know how they will reassign all the ones that have been sent home and deal with all the new people that will be ready to go. We went to the Dean's last week to have sacrament. The first week off we had it with my parents. Then the Dean's. Today we went over to the McGill's. We sang some songs and Sid blessed the sacrament and Russell passed it to us. Then Dalene gave the spiritual thought. It was really really nice. I hope Harvey can at least remember pieces of this. And hopefully recognize that the sacrament is important. And that there is FAR more to the gospel and "church" than just going to it once a week. I hope I'm doing enough...in all aspects (which I feel like I absolutely am not). Just keeping them entertained. Doing the school work. Trying to keep us all happy and stimulated when we can't do much. The weather has sucked a lot these last couple weeks too making outside a little harder. And then spiritually. I feel a little overwhelmed by everything and I recognize that I'm not stepping up the way I need to to help them and to help myself. I'm hoping tomorrow I can start my new goal of exercising daily and eating better and that that will help me be a better mom. Which I need to do anyway but especially during the corona times.

One thing that is pretty funny is there are a LOT of memes and jokes and all sorts of stuff circulating everywhere that are VERY clever and entertaining. Some pretty funny people out there and it's fun to make fun of this whole situation. It its sucking for EVERYONE. I keep thinking about that. Sooo many vacations and plans and celebrations and funerals and graduations and classes and missions and LIFE that is just getting BULLDOZED by this all. And it is terribly sad and disappointing. But it's happening to EVERYONE so I guess there's a little comfort in that.

So far, nationwide, the ER loads have actually gone down quite a bit. We keep thinking it's the calm before the storm. We expect it to get a lot worse in the next couple of weeks. But I guess time will tell. It is AWFUL in Italy and Spain right now. 30,000 death's worldwide and 1/3 of those are JUST from Italy. They have over 10,000. Spain has like 6,000 now. Hundreds of people dying A DAY. That is crazy to me. And awful. I remember when I first read that 300 people died in one day from this in Italy. I was shocked. And every day it just kept going up and up.  450, 650, 790, 930!!!! It's interesting. There's so much speculation ALL over the place. In the media for sure. And with all the docs I work with. There's a big spectrum of opinions and worry. Some are hard core wearing all the PPE garb the entire shift (the first doc I mentioned in this) and feeling like this is very doomsday and awful, to others that think the hysteria and panic is really unfounded. I am taking lots of extra precautions. Changing at work and leaving my "contaminated" clothes there. Not wearing jewelry. Leaving my shoes in the garage and showering when I get home. Maybe I'll need to get more aggressive as we get more and more sick people but for now I feel like I'm doing enough to keep myself protected and mostly others around me protected. One doctor legitimately bought a camper trailer for this and has been living in it the last couple of weeks to protect his family. I think that seems intense and crazy. But who knows. Who will be right when this all shakes out. Will we have done enough? Will what we are doing matter? Who is going to end up sick? I don't know. The uncertainty of it all is what's unsettling. There have been tons of articles about this and lots about this being like the flu and the comparisons and why this is so much worse. But the flu kills hundreds of thousands of people A YEAR and has been for years and years and years. And we have never acted this crazy about that - not even with the H1N1 pandemic. And the flu kills young people and stuff too. This really has been focused on old and sick people. So sometimes I am just baffled at the HUGE response and reaction and freak out all of this is causing. I don't know. Maybe in two months it will be evident that it is far worse than the flu and worth the panic and fear and strict measures we are taking to stop it's spread. There are some significant financial and physical and mental toll's that it's taking though too. It's a bizarre time to be alive. It's so crazy that we are all going through this. It feels like a dream. So surreal.

President Nelson asked us all to fast today for relief from these effects of Covid-19. It will be interesting to see if we notice an obvious change or turn of events after this. It's interesting to think about what God's view of it all is. What the purpose is. Will it turn people's hearts to Christ more and cause people to prepare better and repent more and work towards zion more etc etc. Or not? Or will it for a time and then we get complacent again before the REAL bad stuff starts happening? I wish I knew :) One thing I do know is that God is in charge. This is the Lord's church and I know He is in control. I feel an incredible amount of peace with that. Despite how bruised and battered we end up on the other end of this - I do know that it will be okay. And that THE most important thing is our spiritual preparedness. Do we have a solid foundation of faith in the Lord, are we built upon His rock. Do we lives so we have the CONSTANT companionship of the Holy Ghost. If we do, then it won't matter what storms or viruses or earthquakes or toilet paper shortages come or don't come. I am sure grateful to have that perspective. 100% assurance that there is a Plan of salvation. Covid isn't thwarting God's work or His plan. I hope we all stay safe. That my parents and inlaws and friends and family stay safe and healthy and financially stable and mentally strong. But come what may, I know God lives and loves us and hard things can happen but that it's part of the plan and the reward for never giving up and never surrendering (aka enduring to the end) is worth it. And I don't fear ANYTHING more than I fear losing that assurance.

So...that's it. For now. It will be interesting to see what the next few weeks and even months bring to life, the church, work, etc. I'm sure there will be some sequels to this :) Stay tuned.